Justice Crap

Malaysia.

Just when you think it’s safe to gather peacefully.

And to voice your opinion.

…

A pro-government paper.

Sells less than 60,000 copies daily.

Banned.

Because it gave some space to the opposition.

That’ll teach ya…

…

What’s this?

A political get-together. By the opposition.

In Kampung Baru, Kuala Lumpur.

Under the guise of having a private party. A peaceful gathering no less.

At night.

After office hours.

Stopped by the police.

And the leaders were summoned for questioning.

Reasons? Caused traffic congestion. A hazard to the public.

Fair enough. No traffic congestion. No hazard to the public.

Understand.

…

What’s this?

A demonstration in Penang. By the ex-state government.

Who lost in the recent election.

In broad daylight.

During office hours.

Traffic congestion? Nah…

Hazard? Nah…

And no one was summonned for questioning.

Crap. Of an old regime that refuses to wither away quietly.

Math Crap

Old news to some. News to me.

A 10 year old sat for his math paper.

The question?

“Expand (a+b)ⁿ”

He was stumped.

He proceeded to expand the equation this way:

Smart crap if you asked me.

Rape Crap

Heard of Kaitamaki? A rape case heard in 1985.

What is rape? Amongst others: no consent given.

Kaitamaki says you must STOP the exact moment your partner says ’stop’. May not be the exact word. A moan like “No, I can’t take it anymore!” may mean ‘stop’.

Don’t know if Kaitamaki is still applicable today. It’s been more than 20 years.

Crap

I have a problem with Kaitamaki.

Here’s why.

When he is on his way to paradise, how the crap does he stop? Ever try stopping a 200-miles an hour train?

When he is on his way to paradise, how the crap does he know if her “no” means a “no” or if her “no” means a “more” or if her “F#&k you” really means “F#&k me”?

When he is on his way to paradise, how the crap can he tell if her constant hitting of his chest or the pulling of his hair means she is on the way to paradise or to hell?

Crap!

And this crap applies to:

1. Johnny-cum-lately type
2. The audio-inclined weirdo
3. The no-control freak

Johnny-cum-lately

Slow in cumming. Girlfriend always cum first. His troubles begin when her O ends. He is just about to touch the pie in the sky and she tells him she “needs to take a leak”.

Audio-inclined weirdo

He gets turned on by her moaning. And her screaming. He encourages it. At the height of his ecstasy, she screams “Oh no, no, no…” Does she mean “Yes, yes, yes”? Or “No, no, no“? More importantly: Can he can keep his hard on while trying to figure out which is which?

No control freak

Once he gets going, there is no stopping this train. Doesn’t matter if she screams “Yes!”, “No!”, “More!” or “Stop!” They all mean the same to him. This train is going to the moon and there is no stopping it!

So, all you guys out there: watch out for this crap!

Snoop Crap

Anti-terror law. Against cyber attacks.

Snoop law proposed by the Australian government.

Soon, there will be more such laws than the terrorists. If only laws are grenade. One law for one terrorist. What a great idea!

I can’t blame Australia, really. They have more terrorists than Indonesia and Malaysia combined.

Businesses must be slow in Australia. After all, bosses have time to ferret out terror from emails.

Bottom lines are not important. And bosses rather read employees’ emails than balance shit.

…

I wonder if emails by Smith, Jones, and Sally would be scanned. Or just emails from Ahmad, Abu and Ali.

I am all for it. After all it only affects my right to privacy. And only those of a certain minority. Just so I can sleep in peace at night in the midst of the multitudes of terrorists. In Australia.

Now excuse me while I go set up my tryst with my mistress…

…Hmmm… I think I’ll use webmail instead of the office mail. Hotmail sounds good. And better not forget to encrypt it too. Or should I just use codes today? Heck, I think I’ll just use anon mails – chain a couple of them just to be sure.

Until such time as when the boss decides to get back to reading his crap balance sheets. Or when he can diffentiate one crap from another.